Harrisburg 4th of July Parade

It has been a tradition since Katelynn was 9 months old that I take her to the 4th of July Parade that is held in Harrisburg, NC.  I thought I had it all planned when I was being induced on Wednesday.. I could get released on Friday just in time to take the kids on Saturday to the parade.  Sadly, having a baby on Friday means you are still in the hospital on Saturday.  While I considered being selfish and not suggesting the kids go without me (I have NEVER missed it!), I knew they would love it so Jonathan agreed to take them with the grandparents.  My mom came up to the hospital to help me since I could barely get out of bed at that point, and everyone else had fun at the parade.  I insisted I get pictures of their fun so here are some that everyone took for me!

Introducing Ryan Michael Miller

Ryan Michael Miller arrived via C-section on Friday morning, July 1, 2011 at 8:30 a.m. weighing 8 pounds, 5 ounces and 21 inches long.  He has a head full of hair and is perfect in every single way!  We are so excited to have him complete our little family! 

For those of you that were behind, I had orginally planned on being induced with Ryan on Wednesday (June 29th).  The week before my cervix had not been dilated enough to proceed with an induction so we had to return to the OB's office the day before the induction.  My cervix was still not ready (dilated at 1.5 cm and 0% effaced) so my induction was cancelled.  While some OBs probably would proceed, my OB is very cautious about inductions and prefers to only do them when the risk of them failing and turning into a C-section is very minimal.  (This is one of the reasons I love my OB so I respected her wish to monitor and cancel if need be.)  When she cancelled my induction, my OB asked me what I thought the baby's size was, and I told her that personally I thought it was bigger than Katelynn or Justin were at this point.  I figured he would be over eight pounds.  My OB said that typically moms that had prior pregnancies were actually more accurate on the baby's weight than even doctors.  She immediately ordered an ultrasound for the next day and said we may need to re-consider going with a C-section with his possible size.  (If you remember, I had a 4th degree tear with Katelynn and then a 2nd degree with Justin.  Because of my 4th degree tear and the re-stretching during Justin's delivery, I had some "control" issues following Justin's birth that took about a year to subside.  Because of this, we had considered a C-section from the start of this pregnancy but I have always had such successful and quick labors that I was really wanting the same recovery and experience I had had before so we had went with the plan of watching the baby's weight but trying to proceed with an induced labor by 39 weeks to ensure his size was as small as possible.) 

When we went in on Wednesday for the ultrasound, the baby's estimated weight was 7 pounds, 15 ounces by ultrasound.  Everyone told us that could be over or under his real weight, as it was just an estimate.  My OB checked my cervix one last time and I hadn't improved much (was then 30% effaced but still no further dilated).  While she was still not forcing or suggesting I defintely take one option versus the other, she said that there was enough background history and risk of having at least a year or two of issues if we proceeded with a vaginal delivery to warrant heading towards a scheduled C-section instead.  Because we couldn't be sure how badly I may tear with a bigger baby than Katelynn ( who was 7 pounds, 13 oz) and if I did tear just as bad the issues could even be permanent, I decided to go ahead and proceed with the C-section.  Honestly, I think I knew deep down this was what I needed to do.  I had been so sick to my stomach and stressed about labor for days leading up to the induction, much moreso than I normally had been with my other pregnancies.  It almost didn't make sense.  When my induction was cancelled, I actually felt better instead of worse even though I was dying to meet my little guy and have him here.  It just made sense that it may be a way of telling me that a vaginal delivery was not worth what I may endure afterwards.  We scheduled the C-section for Friday morning and decided to proceed.

Friday morning arrived entirely too quickly.  Jonathan and I didn't sleep much at all the night before, partially because we were excited to meet our little boy and partially because we were scared of the unknown.  I don't like meds and was a bit paranoid about the spinal I was going to have to have.  I never even had an epidural and now here I was going to have to endure a spinal.  We woke up at 4 am and headed to the hospital.  We were checked into a triage room by 5 am, and I had an IV hooked up shortly after.  We pretty much just played the waiting game from 5:00 to 7:00 when they finally came in to take me to the recovery room to prep for surgery.  Once we arrived in recovery, we were told they had an emergency C-section and my 7:45 am surgery would be delayed.  My OB was already in the OR area and came over and talked to us a little bit, saying she thought we were making the right choice going with a C-section.  I was finally taken back to the OR right about 8:00 that morning and they administered my spinal immediately.  It was way easier than I imagined.  There was no pain involved, and I was so excited to discover that I didn't have to lay back and have a needle stay in my spine.  The spinal started working immediately, and it was a completely different experience than I thought it would be.  They inserted my catheter directly after the spinal, and I didn't feel it but I could feel the nurse touch my leg.  After they made sure I was in fact numb, they brought Jonathan in to sit by my side and hold my hand.

The procedure took about 30 minutes total, but it didn't seem like very long at all.  The CNA talked me through different steps, and before they even pushed Ryan out, my OB made the comment that he had a pretty good sized head and that she was happy we were going the C-section route (I heard that numerous times from everyone that the C-section was the right choice).  The strangest feeling was probably when they put pressure on the front of my stomach and he came out screaming only seconds later.  My OB held him up so we could see him, and everyone kept saying he was a big boy!  Ryan entered the world at 8:30 a.m. weighing 8 pounds, 5 ounces.  They quickly got him cleaned up and Jonathan got to hold him and show him to me while they finished my procedure.  (I am pretty sure that this made Jonathan's day.. three kids later and he finally got to hold our newborn before I did!  Haha) The one big disappointment for me is that Presby Hospital does not allow cameras in the OR at all so I did not get tha famous C-section birth picture that so many people post.  Our first pictures of Ryan are in the recovery room.  Jonathan and Ryan left a little before I was finished and they did his bath and got him all set while I was still in the OR.  I was able to then begin breastfeeding him the minute I arrived in recovery.

It took about 2-ish hours for my spinal to wear off.  It was such a weird experience.  When it first started to wear off, I could tell my brain to move my foot but the movement was not what I was expecting when it moved.. if that makes any sense.  It is just such a strange experience.  Once I was able to push with my feet and lift my rear off the bed, they moved me to my postpartum room.  We called my parents as soon as they were moving us to bring Katelynn and Justin up to meet their new baby brother.  They arrived pretty soon afterwards and both of them were completely in love with him.  Even four days later, the biggest issue at our house is the two of them both wanting to hold their brother 24 hours a day.  We have all been joking that we needed twins just to keep both of them happy! 

I am recovering pretty well.  It has been a huge struggle for me to NOT be up and doing everything I want to, but I learned the very first day we came home that I couldn't push myself too much.  I tried to jump into the routine of trying to help where I could with putting the kids down for naps, etc and ended up in so much pain that night my entire body was shaking.  So, needless to say, I am doing my best to keep myself relaxing and not doing every little thing,  taking my meds like I am supposed to, and hoping that very soon I can be active again.  Each day seems better and less discomfort when my meds start wearing off so I am on the road to recovery!

Ryan is doing great!  He is quite spoiled at this point between grandparents and his siblings so I can't say he is ever not in someone's arms at this point.  Hopefully he will adjust well to sleeping on his own and getting into a routine soon.  He returned to the pediatrician at 4 days old and was 7 pounds, 13 ounces.  They did an intake measurement to see how much breastmilk he is getting and the estimate was around 78 cc's.  The pediatrican said that they are ecstatic if a baby is taking in 30 ccs at his age, and he has doubled that so he is growing and eating quite well!  :)

We love having Ryan here finally.  I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome it feels to be a family of five.  Our family truly feels complete and absolutely perfect!  I am so in love with my little family!  <3

As updated as it is going to get!

So with everything going on lately, there is just too much catch-up on pictures to post all the ones I have taken in the last month and a half, but I'm as caught up as I'm going to be!  Hopefully the next post I make will be posting pictures of our new family of five!  I head to the OB tomorrow morning for a cervix check and IF my cervix is ready enough, we will begin induction at 7 pm Tuesday night!  Crossing my fingers for a baby by Wednesday at the latest!  Wish me luck!

Here are links to the posts I posted last night.  I leave them saved by the date they actually took place just so I can keep track in the months to come:

Katelynn's Gymnastics Performance
Katelynn's Preschool Graduation
37 week Belly Pics with comparisions from my other pregnancies
Big Sister and Big Brother Class!

Justin is doing great!

While I am still uneasy and worried about my little guy, it is safe to say that he is doing great and has had no febrile seizures since his episode almost a week ago.  It has been a tough sleeping week for me.  While I know it can happen at any time of any day, it is always hardest for me when I lay him down to sleep.  Part of that is probably because him going to bed was where/when his seizure occurred, but it is also because I cannot be right next to him monitoring him the entire night.  I spent the first two to three nights sleeping in his bed with him, keeping my hand on him the entire night to try and make sure nothing happened.  It took a lot to force myself to give that up, but it wasn't very comfortable for my pregnant body to be in his bed, and I was just creating a habit that he was already getting used to (having mommy sleep with him) so I had to take a deep breath and tell myself he would be okay and let him be.  Honestly, I know I can't stop them if they come on, but it doesn't make it any easier thinking I may not be there for him the minute one could start.  It's something probably only a mommy can understand, but it has just been such an emotionally draining week!  Part of me looks at Justin and is so happy that even though we have this "condition" to worry about, things could be so much worse.  At least he has something that shouldn't affect his daily life and he will hopefully outgrow (if it even happens again), but then the other part of me just can't get the image of him out of my mind going through that seizure and harmless or not, it scares me to death!  He really is doing great though and with each passing day, I think I get a tiny bit better about giving him space :)

On a side note, Justin has also taken off with potty training over the last two weeks!  Just like his big sister, he made the decision all on his own to start wearing underwear and being a big boy, and he is doing great!  He officially wears only underwear all day, every day (with the exception to nap and bedtime) and has been having minimal accidents (at the most one a day and not every day).  Our biggest issues is him keeping everything IN the potty and not on the floor... BOYS!  :)  We are very proud of him though, and what perfect timing- I now will only have one in diapers all day long! 

A Night I Hope to NEVER Repeat

Well, let me start by saying I am so, so behind on blogging!  I have pictures from Katelynn's preschool graduation among several other things that I hope to get posted this week.  I have been "nesting" and getting ready for baby and abandoning my regular blogging on here lately.  However, last night was eventful at our house and rather than continue to be on the phone all day updating family and friends, I thought leaving the full story on our blog was much easier.  Bare with me as you know I'm all long-winded and tell every single detail :)

So, yesterday I hit 38 weeks pregnant and my goal has been to have this baby asap (not that that has anything to do with what occurred but you get where my mindset has suddenly flipped dramatically once you read on)!  We started our day like any other, but after naps Justin woke up a little warm.  I questioned whether he had a fever.  He had just woken though and was under blankets in his bed so I wasn't sure if it was just from sleeping.  He insisted he felt fine and wanted to play outside so I let it go and we headed outdoors.  It didn't take long for the heat to get to him outside and he looked sick.  We had just moved the carseats around in the van and both kids were wanting to ride in their new "spot" in the van.  Jonathan and I both tried to convince Justin it was a better idea to just go inside the house as he didn't look great, but he insisted he was fine so we cranked the air conditioner and I took them on a little ride.  It wasn't very far into it when Justin vomited.  I knew right then that my instincts were in fact correct, and I should have just given him Tylenol and put him in the house before.  We came right home.  Honestly, I didn't take his temperature.  He was not burning up so much that I was concerned his fever was anything that needed medical attention so I just gave him the Tylenol.  He wanted to be held for a bit, but then he started feeling better as the fever went down and played some.  He had chicken noodle soup and crackers for dinner and held them down fine and went to bed. 

Probably 30-ish minutes after he had went to bed, I went in to check on him and he was awake again.  He told me his belly hurt so we went to the bathroom to make sure he didn't have to vomit again.  I then laid him back down in his bed and he told me he was cold.  We shut off his ceiling fan and bundled tighter in the blankets.  I noticed he felt like he was getting warm again, and it had probably been about 4 hours since his last dosage of Tylenol.  I figured since he was about to sleep for hopefully an extended period of time, I should just give him some more Tylenol to help him sleep more comfortably.  After I gave him the medicine, I sat down next to his bed to read my book and be there for him while he fell asleep.  He was pretty tired.  It wasn't but within a few minutes and for some reason I looked over at him.  I have no recollection as to if I felt something was wrong or if I was just looking to see if he was asleep now that I look back on it, but when I looked over at him, his body was shaking (not violently, more like an excessive shivering from chills) and his eyes were up and at the top of his head (I could see his pupils but they were all the way at the top).  I grabbed him immediately out of bed and noticed that he was making a weird gurgling-type noise that instantly made me think he was possibly just starting to vomit and had started choking on it since he was laying on his back.  I flipped him over my arm and started pounding his back and calling his name, asking if he was okay.  He never once stopped shaking and his eyes remained open and rolled up, with no response as to answering me while I spoke.  I ran downstairs, searching for Jonathan and my cell phone.  Katelynn had still been awake in her room and at the commotion of all of it, she ran down too right by my side.  I knew Jonathan was going to run to Lowe's Home Improvements (he was working on the garage and boat), but I had no idea if he was still gone or home outside working.  Katelynn and I tried yelling for him, all the while Justin was still in the same state as he had been.  I fumbled with my phone, trying to dial 9-1-1 (It's amazing how when you need to dial it, in such panic, you can't seem to punch the right numbers!).  At some point during my short conversation with the operator, Justin stopped shaking and just seemed to be "fading" on me.  He remained breathing the entire time, but I was in a sure panic he was going to stop breathing.  I kept talking to him, telling him to stay awake, stay with me.  He would open up his eyelids but his eyes remained at the top of his head and he was moaning.  At this point, Katelynn and I were outside with Justin.  I had discovered by then that Jonathan was gone and had quickly dialed him after the 9-1-1 operator to tell him to get home.  I have no idea what I even said to him in my state of panic, but it wasn't a long conversation.  Since we were already outside, I stayed out there.  My thought process was that I wanted to hand Justin over to medical help as quickly as I could and what was quicker than being at the end of my yard and right there when they pulled up.  It's kind of silly now that I look back on it, but it made sense then.  Justin really started falling into a deep sleep that I couldn't get him to wake from as the firetruck pulled up.  I started telling him that he was going to miss seeing the firetruck and he loves firetrucks, and he did respond at that point and open his eyes and actually move his pupils around, but when I asked him to look at me, he still wouldn't focus and look at me.  He closed his eyes again pretty quickly.

With fire rescue here, we went into the house so Justin could be laid down and accessed.  His color and vitals were all good.  He wouldn't open his eyes when I talked to him, but he did cry some.  When paramedics arrived, they evaluated him a little and said that he probably had a reaction to fever and told us it was actually pretty common.  They said they could transport him to the hospital for testing if we preferred, but that they would probably just refer us to the pediatrician in the morning even if we did so.  They stayed with us (Jonathan arrived shortly after medical help did and was filled in on the event)  for a bit and Justin finally woke up, talked to us, looked at us, and appeared pretty normal.  He was still slightly warm so he did complain of being cold, but he was acting much more like himself by that point.  The paramedics were pretty convinced there wasn't a need to seek hospitalization so we took their advice.  Jonathan ran to the store and got Pedialyte and we hydrated him with Pedialyte and let him fall back asleep on the couch.  We stayed awake until well after 2 a.m. watching him for any signs of activity again.  By 2 am, he was just starting to get warm again so we gave him one more dose of Tylenol and decided to put him in bed with us and try to get some rest.  Justin woke up this morning acting completely like himself, with no recollection of seeing the fire trucks, only the ambulance lights when they were packing up to leave.    Still, even though he seemed fine (not even a fever), we visited the pediatrican this morning.

Basically what we learned from the pediatrician is that Justin experienced a febrile seizure last night.  Our ped told us that 1 in 20 children actually have these before the age of 6 and that it can happen to Justin again until he gets passed the age of 6, whether it be this week or a month or year from now.  It may also never happen again; there's just no way to know.  I have yet to google febrile seizures, but from what our ped explained, it happens when there is a dramatic change in body temperature in a short period of time.  He said as long as they only lasted a minute or so and that Justin returned to a normal state within 30-ish minutes (which he did), that there probably was no concern.  If he does have another one, they will do an EEG just to confirm that there is not any neurological defects.  Sadly, there's nothing I can do to prevent this from happening to him and trust me, it's not something I want to see again but all I can do is pray that it isn't something we have to go through ever again.  The ped suggested if the seizure does occur again and it starts lasting closer to five minutes, we should go ahead and call 9-1-1 again, but otherwise we don't have to call for immediate help unless we feel like we need/want to.  His only suggestion was to make sure Justin is safe while the seizure is occuring and is laying on his side in case of vomiting. 

So.. wow.  I am just so overwhelmed and still a bit scared and freaked out.  As I sit and type this, Justin is napping by my side.  I know I should be napping too as I'm about to go through labor in the next week or so and have a newborn on my hands, but I fear going to sleep and him having another seizure when I'm not awake.  So here I sit watching my little guy rest peacefully.  He seems to be just fine, but our doctor did recommend monitoring him very closely for the next week.  I can't even begin to describe everything I felt while the incident occurred last night.  It is not something I would wish on anyone.  Thankfully, our outcome was at least a good one.  Poor Katelynn was so brave even when she was scared out of her mind.  I tried comforting her as best I could last night, but the whole event is still so confusing for her.  We keep trying to tell her today how brave and helpful she was in such a scary event.  It was the cutest thing ever though when the firetruck arrived.  She immediately walked up to the first fireman on scene and said, "We don't have a fire here.  We need an ambulance.  There's no fire!" 

Thank you to everyone that made it this far in my ramblings.  I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, scared, swollen, and very pregnant so I have no idea how much sense I have made along the way in my storytelling, but I know some of you wanted to know the details so there they are!  I guess all there is to do at this point is hope it never happens again.  I am so ready to have this baby, but now that this has all happened, I cannot imagine leaving Justin's side right now and not being able to keep my own eyes on him every second of every day.  It really is true that it is events like this that make you want to squeeze your kids a little tighter and never let go!   Please keep Justin in your thoughts and prayers!  So far he has yet to spike another fever so we may be out of the woods for now thankfully, but it's still so scary to think about having to go through it again.  I can't get the image of him out of my mind.  It was truly a day I hope I never have to repeat....

Big Sister and Big Brother Class

So today we took the kids to the hospital where I will deliver at to attend a big sister and brother class.  Katelynn was super excited about the class, and I am pretty sure she loved every minute.  Justin was enjoying the baby doll playing and seeing the real babies in the nursery, but he lost interest in some of it!  It was still super cute!!  I can't wait until they get to come meet their baby brother!

37 week Belly Comparisons

Here's my belly at 37.5 weeks with Baby #3!  I am so ready for him to get here!

I thought it would be fun to compare my belly to my other pregnancies so here goes...

37 week belly with Katelynn:

37 week with Justin

And Baby #3 at 37 weeks